Somewhere far away

“...it feels like you want to travel away from where you belong; somewhere where nobody knows who you are. A place somewhere that no one knows.”

I’ve decided to be away from every social network I have and stick with my blog since this is the only place where I feel safe enough to express my feeling. Everything about my personal life has turned into something complicated now. I don’t want to make it even more complicated by posting it randomly. Hence, I’ve decided to let the feeling go here, in this blog. There are a few things that my head can’t stop questioning and I can’t sleep thinking about it. Even worse, I cry myself to sleep.

Let me take a deep breath.

This ugly feeling, it feels like you want to travel away from where you belong; somewhere where nobody knows who you are. A place somewhere that no one knows. It’s too hard to express it by words. It’s just too hard. I’ve packed it all in my head but I couldn’t express it any better. Forgive me, dear heart. I have to burden you with all these. I know this is a test. Deep down inside I don’t want to feel this way. But I’m only human. Sometimes I keep too much, and I end up crying all night long. It’s like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water.

Whenever I cry, I tell myself; “this is life, Ieka. We can’t always have the sun shining every day. You can’t have a rainbow without a little rain. Someday you’ll taste the feeling of happiness again. Allah has a better plan for you. Stop crying and be thankful to Him.”